so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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