No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
