Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the day after is always just damage control
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
