this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
