It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
