Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
