I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
