I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
