And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
