no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
