This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
