My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
