I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
