my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i've created a new STD.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
