Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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