He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
