carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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