Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
