I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
