Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
