She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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