Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
