i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
