my phone needs a breathalizer
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
