Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
