I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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