We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
