Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
