if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
