So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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