I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
