dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
