my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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