dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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