WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
