apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
