Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
