another moral hangover. fuck.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
