I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
