'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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