She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
