I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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