well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
