THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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