This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
