Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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