you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
