we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
