How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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