yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
