that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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