I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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